davidcookruinedmylife:

see, here’s the thing. we have to take our clothes off! we have to party all night![/gymclassheroes] i’m not really what you would call into kids. i don’t fawn over babies. those maternal urges that some chicks get? don’t happen for me. i’m more likely to get all starry-eyed over a puppy or a kitten or…i don’t know, a baby turtle. really any kind of baby animal that isn’t human. (sorry, mom.)

and yet. AND FUCKING YET. this video? my ovaries are smoking in a pile on the floor from overuse. shut the fuck UP, david cook! clearly you’re not content to merely ruin my life, you ALSO want to ruin my female parts. so hang on to your tits, ladies. this dude is trouble.

O____O

first off, that stupid effin hair, david cook. just.. shit. all freaking wet, your bangs sticking on your forehead. oheff. and your shirt. goddamn. your shirt. you put it on and you look smokinshthellyeahsdgfddjkldgfh but then again you’re just making us want to rip it off your stupid fckng body. i’ve seen the pics with the kids but i refused to watch the whole thing since it’s a daily anthem and it just might make my poor heart heavy again and all that shit but thank god you’re wearing that rip-it-off-right-the-fck-now shirt. and just the way you freaking move and your mouth and your eyes when you squeeze them close and when you move away from the mic and drop your head backwards YOU. KILL. ME.

and those kids. yes, omfgosh. DAVID COOK, FATHER MY CHILDREN, please period.